• ƒadArts™ •

Its been another hellish week for me.
Her going to batam didnt change anything. I was so upset looking at the way she talked to me when she returned. I was truely hoping for things to get better she when she returned. I waited a long time for that..

But by the looks of things.. nothing is still getting better. Never before have i cried on my knees begging for someone to stay. I realise i was foolish i was pathetic. I threw every last bit of my pride away.

She still hated me.. my mom didnt let me go to work the next day seeing how swollen my eyes was. I kept crying and crying throught the night. I know i told her i'll set her free and i give up on trying.

But why doesnt this stupid heart listen?
Why does it still want to ache? Why does it still want to eat up all this pain im getting. Yes because i know and my heart knows how much i love her.. how much she meant to me.

I have regrets for things that i did.. and for those that i didnt. Still i could never get any forgiveness for those. It hurts but who am i to force if she really dont want to forgive.

My parents are getting on my tail. They pressure me to get an answer from u. They tell me this fight i should give up. But i dont want to. Only i know only god knows how much she ever meant to me.

I never broke down this hard throughout my life.. all i just ask is for a hug.. and 1 more dinner. But end of the day..again.. friends comes first. Its upsetting bt i no longer have any say to how things should go.

I pity her parents they try hard. They are the ones who keep giving me hope not to let go. But how much more damage can i take.. i would like to be happy with her.. but more than that.. id rather she be happy even if it means i have to get out of her life. 😔😔😔😔😔

Dear god please save me from this pain. I only wanted her love.. u know thats true..



See my story, Fad d' Lee fadarts™